Thursday, 7 November 2024

How to Ask Questions That Matter!

 

GREAT leaders ask GREAT questions. 


Asking smart questions is one of the most powerful tools in a leader's toolbox. The right question asked at the right time can bring answers that help you understand better, think differently, and move your organization forward.

Leaders who think they have all the answers often become so absorbed in trying to be the smartest person in the room that they avoid asking the questions that will actually make them smarter.   

Questions Make You Smart

Some leaders fear asking questions. They believe that if they ask, they will appear weak and uninformed. The direct opposite is true. 

People go through a cognitive process as they search for answers. Insights are more powerful when they come to conclusions on their own.

Improving your questioning skills will make you a better manager, employee, parent, teacher, student or community leader through empowering your team.

Leaders who ask questions also show respect for their teams. Questions contribute to building relationships because they often lead to further conversations, which play a key role in getting to know someone better. 

Asking questions …

·       Adds perspective because you receive information from a different view

·       Empowers the person being asked to think for themselves

·       Tells people you value what they say

·       Provides a path to deeper conversations 

What The Experts Say

An effective leader will ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Dale Carnegie

Good leaders ask great questions that inspire others to dream, think, learn, do, and become more.

John C. Maxwell

When you give advice, the brain is asleep. Engaging people by asking questions helps them come alive as they develop their own insights.

Dr. Henry Cloud

Leaders who promote a questioning culture in their organizations move people from dependence to independence.

Michael J. Marquardt

Active Listening

There's a second part! When you ask questions, you must listen carefully to answers to receive deeper meaning and understanding.

It's called active listening. Being focused and in the moment is one of the skills that help you better understand answers. That makes you a more effective questioner.

I learned the importance of listening while studying to become a teacher. We were given a field project of interviewing a child between 6 and 10 years old.

I thought I had the assignment aced! We lived in the basement of a landlord who had two little kids! This task would be easy.

WRONG!

To a person, my classmates and I came back to class with recordings of themselves talking over their interviewee rather than listening carefully to the child's answers.

The point was made. Questions lose their power when you don't listen to the answers. I'll write a post about it soon.

Who Asks Questions?

There are obvious careers that we associate with questioning. The truth is that people in any profession can benefit by asking key. 

·       Journalists

·       Detectives

·       Medical professionals

·       Sales professionals

·       Teachers

·       Researchers

Socrates Asked Why?

Socrates developed an educational method based on asking questions. He believed he was modelling a system that would help students to think for themselves as they searched for answers to life's questions.

Most of us have been in a talk where the presenter endlessly droned on without a break. The audience eventually drifted off. However, when the speaker asked a question, we re-engaged and were drawn back into the presentation!

Questioning Environment

Questioning will only work if there is a feeling of safety for those answering. In other words, people must never fear being diminished, punished, sidelined, or ridiculed for their answers. Successful leaders let their teams know there are no dumb questions.

When leaders ask questions, they signal that they are not content with the status quo. They are not satisfied with doing the same old things in the same way and hoping for a different result.

But there are questions, and then there are questions! Destructive or demeaning questions can slip out when a leader is caught off guard by a negative situation and responds impulsively.

Why did you spill that?

 Instead – Can I help you mop it up?

 How could you have been so stupid?

 Instead – Can we work through the problem together?

  Why can't you be like Fred? 

Instead – Can I ask Fred to help you with that? 

What was I thinking when I hired you? 

Instead – There are some things I'd like to discuss. Can we have a coffee at 2 this afternoon?

Body Language

Body language can enhance or undermine the act of asking questions. Eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice make a difference. For example, scowling while pounding your fist repeatedly into the other hand will affect how the question is received.

Asking the same question with a smile and your arms extended with your hands turned slightly upwards completely changes how it is received. Open hands signal you have nothing to hide.

Employee Benefits

If your organization does not appear to recognize your leadership potential, asking questions will help you stand out. Sometimes, leaders know the answer but ask the question as a way to determine how much the team knows or what they think about a specific issue.

Further, answering a leader's questions helps them learn more about you. They see how well you express yourself, how much you know, and how engaged you are with your job. They also signal that you want to be part of the solution rather than the problem.

Questions Guide

Asking relevant questions can focus and shift a discussion from one direction to another. They can also keep topics on track and avoid going down rabbit holes.

Triggering Group Think

Asking questions in group settings causes those there to think about the issue, even if they don't verbalize their ideas. They will often continue thinking about the matter long after the session has ended.

Questions foster group ownership of a problem. The collective brain power creates synergies that may lead to finding solutions. More people focusing on a problem increases the odds of success.

When responses to questions encourage others to contribute their ideas, deeper engagement with each other is the result.

Open or Closed

A question that a single word can answer is a closed question. Asking, "Did you go to Nairobi?" brings an obvious answer. It's yes or no.

Asking, "What did you do the day after you landed in Nairobi?" requires at least a sentence to answer. It may also launch a multi-sentence conversation providing bonus information you didn't expect.

The End

Wrapping it Up

Has this post helped you?  Do you have stories from your experience asking questions? I'd love to hear from you. Please share in the comment section below. 

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Five Great Posts by Robyn 

  1. Master the Art of Writing for an Online Audience
  2. How to Write Speeches That Move People!
  3. Body Language - Do You Know What Your Body is Saying?
  4. Sold is Not a Four Letter Word. Open Doors to Sales Success!
  5. How to Build Resilient Relationships in a World of Toxic Negativity  

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